memoirs, art and fragments by Thomas Milner

Archive for November 30, 2012

Wanted!

The police are looking for this this man in connection with his last blog:

PORTRAIT

The general public is warned not to approach him directly but to get in touch with the local authorities, as he is dangerous and armed with a scathing, acerbic and mordant wit.

He has been known to use the following (banned) literary devices:

litotes, metaphor, paradox, paronomasia, periphrasis, epizeuxis, episthrophy/antistrophy, antithesis, oxymoron, cacophony, scesis onomation, assonance & alliteration, brachylogies,  anaphora, satire, irony and even sarcasm.

Sometimes he ventures trenchant and pithy observations on the Human Condition.

He quips puns & one-liners;

Cracks jokes & jibes;

Banters & jests;

He’s a wise guy.

And lastly he looks a bit creepy.

I would suggest nabbing him after lunch as he is nodding off for a post-prandial snooze in front of a TV show featuring a woman who makes her own pumpkin-jam according to special secret recipe from her village … yawn … yawn … snore … snore.

I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything till noon. That’s when it’s time for my nap.

(Bob Hope)

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