The police are looking for this this man in connection with his last blog:
The general public is warned not to approach him directly but to get in touch with the local authorities, as he is dangerous and armed with a scathing, acerbic and mordant wit.
He has been known to use the following (banned) literary devices:
litotes, metaphor, paradox, paronomasia, periphrasis, epizeuxis, episthrophy/antistrophy, antithesis, oxymoron, cacophony, scesis onomation, assonance & alliteration, brachylogies, anaphora, satire, irony and even sarcasm.
Sometimes he ventures trenchant and pithy observations on the Human Condition.
He quips puns & one-liners;
Cracks jokes & jibes;
Banters & jests;
He’s a wise guy.
And lastly he looks a bit creepy.
I would suggest nabbing him after lunch as he is nodding off for a post-prandial snooze in front of a TV show featuring a woman who makes her own pumpkin-jam according to special secret recipe from her village … yawn … yawn … snore … snore.
I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything till noon. That’s when it’s time for my nap.