memoirs, art and fragments by Thomas Milner

Posts tagged ‘planet inspection’

Opiate of the People

Towards the end of the 19th century (earth-time) a German Jew called Karl Marx, a political philosopher who was living in London, wrote Das Kapital which was to become one of the foundation stones of Communism. In this book which was basically an attack on Capitalism, one of the many quotable aphorisms is: Religion is the opiate of the People.

KARL MARX

KARL MARX

Now at the beginning of the 21st century might we suggest one changes this to: Football is the opiate of the People.

Football, in case anyone reading this is from another System in the Galaxy , is a game where twenty two grown men are paid mind-bogglingly huge sums of money to kick a ball around a field for ninety of their earth minutes.

I know, I know … go figure, there’s no accounting for taste, is there? But you will really fall out of your chairs when I inform your Excellencies that this, often unedifying spectacle of testosterone fuelled louts throwing tantrums when they lose, can be watched by up to a billion natives of this planet.

This inspection team is nearing completion of its assignment (there are just a couple of belief-systems we need to look at again in the eastern part of the planet) then we’re done here.

NASA-may-cut-planet-exploration-missions

Our recommendation is that the classification of this world should be downgraded

from C (promising) to C- (disappointing).

Memo from Terra

Name …………………………. Terra

Status ………………………… Planet

Location …………………….  Solar system on rim of Galaxy (Via Lactia) – North/West Quadrant

Mass ………………………….  5.974 x 1027 g

Volume ……………………..  259,875,300,000m3

Equatorial diameter …  7,926,381m

Polar diameter …………  7,899,806m

Age …………………………..  c 4,500,000,000 years

Surface gravity ………..  980 cm/s2

Escape velocity ……….  11.18 km/s2

Planet year ……………..  365.256 days

Core temperature …..  4500 degrees C (est.)

Water:land ratio …….  71%:29% (est.)

Report from Terra early 21st century CE 

Dem/S.Europe/Micro/Institution/old people/recruitment/subsection 3K.

To:               The General Council of the ISF (Intergalactic Space Federation)

From:          Agent 47sq – code name <Thomas> (N/W quadrant inspectorate)

Subject:      Care-home Recruitment Policy

Date:          20.09.2012  CE – LPT (Local Planet Time)

Your Excellencies:

The policy in an Old Peoples Home (such as this one) of recruiting all the staff from the same village has many advantages:

  • The Institution becomes the biggest employer and provides work in an otherwise inert and non-dynamic local socio-economic environment.
  • The carers, from top management to the cooks, together with the old people they care for, largely share the same socio-topographical background.
  • Thus the management is able to make value-judgement-based policy/decisions.
  • Many of carers and inmates are nearly or distantly related to each other thus a family atmosphere is engendered.

However there is a downside to the situation:

  • The policy of recruitment based purely on topography as opposed to a merit-based criterion (as is more usual) can sometimes lead to inappropriate staff/workers being recruited.
  •  It appears that in this particular area there is a culture of inter-communication by speaking loudly or shouting.  It seems to me that in sometimes treating the old people as recalcitrant or stubborn family members who are answerable to the norms of logic and correct social behaviour, the workers are drifting away from their core function which is the client/service-provider contract; moreover a few of them seem woefully lacking in what one would have thought a basic tool of their trade – an understanding of and empathy for the various types of senile behaviour/dementia.

CODE NAME THOMAS oil painting by THOMAS MILNER

(To be continued)

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